Being awesome, made to look easy.
Ok - more stuff. Bullets again as I am tired and intoxicated and can't be bothered to do things properly. These are not in order, but I am sure no one cares - or at the very least, I don't.
1) Roppongi night out - see post here.
2) Got a new house mate. A Canadian guy called Don. He is pretty cool and brought a slimline PS2 with him which I am sure will be good for a laugh every now and then.
3) Getting better at Mario Kart arcade. Not sure if I mentioned it before, but there are MK arcade machines. Everyone loves them and they are wicked. Is always ace to kick some Japanese school kids asses at it.
4) Had kids training. It was my own personal hell. They had us pretend to be students all day (6 year olds) whilst they taught us. Needless to say I hated every second of it and gave the instructors evils throughout and generally took the piss when asked to do demonstration teaching. It in no way prepared me for teaching kids.
5) Have now taught a fair few kids lessons. Mostly I hate it, but it is easy enough. I have a few annoying, crappy kids - so I just bully them in submission. I had one goofy looking kid who tried to Kancho me with in 30 seconds of meeting me. Fortunately, as Tom had indirectly warned me of this by sending me a link to another teacher's blog, I saw what he was trying to do. I instantly stopped him and made him sit down. Man, I hate kids.
6) Had a night out in Kanazawa Hakkei (where I work) with Emma (work mate), Alex (her boyfriend) and Don (housemate). Went to a cool bar called Honey Style, although we have renamed it the Honey and Jon in honour of the cool American barman there. He is a music producer - you should all check out his stuff here. We missed the last train home, so had to crash at Kanazawa-Bunkho, which is one stop away at the flat of a guy called Geoff/Jeff, who is a friend of Emma/Alex. Was a good night but I got about 3 hours sleep in total and was working 10-6 the next day. I was so so so ill, it wasn't even fair.
7) Steve Irwin died. Happened on 4th September for anyone still unaware. Bit lame as he was a legend. Still - just one of those things I guess. I didn't even know Stingrays had barbs.
8) Have learnt how to say all the days of the week and months of the years and most colours in Japanese. Have been getting our (hot) staff members to test me on it.
9) Have filmed the inside of our flat but have not put it online yet. Though I should probably redo it as me and Don rearranged the lounge and it is loads better now. Just need to hook it up with some vodka etc and it will be amazing.
10) Dawn is out of hospital and within 48 hours came on a night out in Yokohama; crutches and all. I was most impressed with her hardcore dedication. We have also brought her housemate Bridgette (from New Zealand) into the fold. Gotta expand the empire. To that effect I am getting more numbers etc (good old Fortune Phone) to expand the group with.
11) Been listening to a lot of Oakenfold again. The Bunkka album is great.
12) I watched episode 1 of series 4 of Nip/Tuck. Glad to see the show still has the ability to surprise me. Crazy stuff and totally awesome.
13) My brother Nigel came to visit me. Well, he was only business in Tokyo, but he took an extra day to come to Yokohama to hang out. It was most excellent and in his short time here he saw more stuff than I have in a month. Still, it was great and the milky bars were on him.
14) I have taken many great pictures and have a load of stuff my brother took when he was here - will post them up soon.
There are probably other things but I can't think what they are so that will have to do for now. Please excuse the shoddy grammar and spelling through out as I can't be bothered to even try and do it properly.
1) Roppongi night out - see post here.
2) Got a new house mate. A Canadian guy called Don. He is pretty cool and brought a slimline PS2 with him which I am sure will be good for a laugh every now and then.
3) Getting better at Mario Kart arcade. Not sure if I mentioned it before, but there are MK arcade machines. Everyone loves them and they are wicked. Is always ace to kick some Japanese school kids asses at it.
4) Had kids training. It was my own personal hell. They had us pretend to be students all day (6 year olds) whilst they taught us. Needless to say I hated every second of it and gave the instructors evils throughout and generally took the piss when asked to do demonstration teaching. It in no way prepared me for teaching kids.
5) Have now taught a fair few kids lessons. Mostly I hate it, but it is easy enough. I have a few annoying, crappy kids - so I just bully them in submission. I had one goofy looking kid who tried to Kancho me with in 30 seconds of meeting me. Fortunately, as Tom had indirectly warned me of this by sending me a link to another teacher's blog, I saw what he was trying to do. I instantly stopped him and made him sit down. Man, I hate kids.
6) Had a night out in Kanazawa Hakkei (where I work) with Emma (work mate), Alex (her boyfriend) and Don (housemate). Went to a cool bar called Honey Style, although we have renamed it the Honey and Jon in honour of the cool American barman there. He is a music producer - you should all check out his stuff here. We missed the last train home, so had to crash at Kanazawa-Bunkho, which is one stop away at the flat of a guy called Geoff/Jeff, who is a friend of Emma/Alex. Was a good night but I got about 3 hours sleep in total and was working 10-6 the next day. I was so so so ill, it wasn't even fair.
7) Steve Irwin died. Happened on 4th September for anyone still unaware. Bit lame as he was a legend. Still - just one of those things I guess. I didn't even know Stingrays had barbs.
8) Have learnt how to say all the days of the week and months of the years and most colours in Japanese. Have been getting our (hot) staff members to test me on it.
9) Have filmed the inside of our flat but have not put it online yet. Though I should probably redo it as me and Don rearranged the lounge and it is loads better now. Just need to hook it up with some vodka etc and it will be amazing.
10) Dawn is out of hospital and within 48 hours came on a night out in Yokohama; crutches and all. I was most impressed with her hardcore dedication. We have also brought her housemate Bridgette (from New Zealand) into the fold. Gotta expand the empire. To that effect I am getting more numbers etc (good old Fortune Phone) to expand the group with.
11) Been listening to a lot of Oakenfold again. The Bunkka album is great.
12) I watched episode 1 of series 4 of Nip/Tuck. Glad to see the show still has the ability to surprise me. Crazy stuff and totally awesome.
13) My brother Nigel came to visit me. Well, he was only business in Tokyo, but he took an extra day to come to Yokohama to hang out. It was most excellent and in his short time here he saw more stuff than I have in a month. Still, it was great and the milky bars were on him.
14) I have taken many great pictures and have a load of stuff my brother took when he was here - will post them up soon.
There are probably other things but I can't think what they are so that will have to do for now. Please excuse the shoddy grammar and spelling through out as I can't be bothered to even try and do it properly.
246 Responses to “Death to the little ones”
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About me
- I'm Andrew
- From Lincoln, United Kingdom
- I graduated from the University of Hull, where I studied Economics. I decided to go to Japan for a year to teach English and this blog is to chronicle my adventures.
- My profile
Kids putting their figers up your arse. That's the last thing you want.
It IS the last thing you want, right?
I like bullet points. Keep fucking the idiots, yeah?
Futures.
lol yeah it is pretty much right up there with 'being shot in the face' or 'a night in with Jim Davidson'.
I am feeling the love for the bullet points too. I want to do another picture/storyboard-esque post as that will be more interesting.
konichiwa, andy san
im loving this blog
RIP steve
konichiwa, Nick-san
Glad you're enjoying it :) - More stuff will be posted very soon, including more tales of the legendary Fortune Phone.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
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I should not talk so much about myself were there anybody else whom I knew as well.
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I've never been this old in my entire life.
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Women like silent men. They think they're listening.
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When one is trying to do something beyond one's known powers it is useless to seek the approval of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
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Men don't need women -- they just need certain parts of their anatomy.
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Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterwards.
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We are more apt to catch the vices of others than their virtues, as disease is far more contagious than health.
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When a man wants to murder a tiger, it's called sport; when the tiger wants to murder him, it's called ferocity.
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The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
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I must catch up with the others, for I am their leader.
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Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant.
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After spending many years in Wall Street and after making and losing millions of dollars I want to tell you this: It never was my thinking that made the big money for me. It always was my sitting.
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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopis
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It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
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I kept on digging the hole deeper and deeper looking for the treasure chest until I finally lifted my head, looked up and realised that I had dug my own grave.
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Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.
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When everyone is against you, it means you are absolutely wrong -- or you are absolutely right.
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Imbesi's Law with Freeman's Extension: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.
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Before you find your handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs.
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Drugs are reality's legal loopholes.
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We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it.
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All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.
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When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.
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The Golden Rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
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DeVries' Dilemma: If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper.
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For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
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Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
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Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.
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Bravery and stupidity go hand in hand.
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It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the lowly ant crawls the ground, but cannot the soul of the ant soar as high as the eagle?
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When the government fears the people, we have liberty. When the people fear the government, we have tyranny.
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Thank you for your trouble.
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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On the whole, human beings want to be good -- but not too good and not quite all the time.
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It is very kind of you
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Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female. The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack" "No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"
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When the government fears the people, we have liberty. When the people fear the government, we have tyranny.
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Conscience is the window of our spirit, evil is the curtain.
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The danger today is not so much that machines will learn to think and feel but that men will cease to do so.
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Reach for the moon and if you miss at least you will land among the stars.
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If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn't come back, kill it!
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When the government fears the people, we have liberty. When the people fear the government, we have tyranny.
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To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.
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If you give me six lines written by the most honest man, I will find something in them to hang him.
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If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?
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Cox's Philosophy: Life's a bitch, and then you die.
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Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
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Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent.
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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
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I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
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Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left.
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Parents are traffic signs that are always in our blind spots.
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If death did not exist today it would be necessary to invent it.
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The greatest reward for doing is the opportunity to do more.
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It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
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Conscience is the window of our spirit, evil is the curtain.
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The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity.
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Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
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Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
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You see things and you say, "Why?" But I see things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"
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If you do what you've always done, you'll be what you've always been.
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When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.
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The harder you fall, the higher you bounce.
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A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
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The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.
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Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
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Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
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We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
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Action cures fear, inaction creates terror.
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Measure twice because you can only cut once.
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Don't wait for the last judgment; it takes place every day.
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The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day.
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In our society, any man who doesn't cry at his mother's funeral is liable to be condemned to death.
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A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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That�s just what the doctor ordered.
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A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is statistics.
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I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
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We have had an Imperial lesson; it may make us an Empire yet!
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If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
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The simplest act of surrealism is to walk out into the street, gun in hand, and shoot at random.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
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Thinking good thoughts is not enough, doing good deeds is not enough, seeing others follow your good examples is enough.
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Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.
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Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.
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The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
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There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.
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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?
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Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
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Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
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Sloppy, raggedy-assed old life. I love it. I never want to die.
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Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
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A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Millions long for immortality but do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
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I drink to make other people interesting.
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When a female has tears in her eyes the one who cannot see is the male.
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A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
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I can never thank you enough.
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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Thanks.
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A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.
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If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopis
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The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.
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Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.
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Death is the final wake-up call.
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Am I disturbing you?
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What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
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Every man is the architect of his own fortune.
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A friend is someone who knows all about you and and still likes you.
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Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
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After I'm dead, I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopis
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Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
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You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.
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Every solution breeds new problems.
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Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground.
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All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.
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Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
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It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.
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Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man.
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The greatest reward for doing is the opportunity to do more.
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Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is.
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If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.
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Boring people are a reflection of boring people.
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
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The more you know, the less you think you know.
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Before you find your handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs.
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The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
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It gets two thumbs up!
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Spel chekers, hoo neeeds em?
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Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.
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Truth fears no questions.
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Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
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If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.
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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
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If you wish to reach the highest, begin at the lowest.
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A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.
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What happens when you give a politician some Viagra? He gets taller
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